Nyota, has Jim taken the opportunity to speak to you regarding a somewhat personal matter as of late?

He did.

[ she's somewhat stiff. ]

Don't you think we should talk about this in person, Spock?

I do. When would be preferable for you?

[ Deferring to her judgment, because. Well, reasons. ]

Now.

[ she'll brook no arguments from you, either, spock. ]

[ ... Eep. ]

Very well. I will be at your quarters shortly.

[ And he cuts the line, taking a moment to sit there before rising smoothly and heading down. This is ... going to be unpleasant, he can sense it. ]

[ she doesn't want it to be unpleasant. but in what universe did he think it had been a good idea to send Jim to her to broach this topic? especially without any sort of warning! she was confused. and possibly a little hurt. and more than a little bit curious as to his logic behind all of this. ]

Spock. Thank you for coming.

[ she greets him at the door, smoothly. ]

Edited 2013-07-07 03:51 am (UTC)

[ Stepping inside, he keeps his hands clasped loosely behind his back so as not to invade her personal space more than necessary, brown eyes ticking over her in muted concern. ]

I anticipate you have many questions for me.

[ she slid the door shut, setting the lock to 'private' before turning and offering a sigh, running a hand through her hair. questions. where should she even start? ]

Why did you not tell me?

[ her arms are crossed over her chest, more protectively than anything else and while her tone is even, her distress is evident on her face. ]

[ Stress, anxiety, confusion. He sees them all in her and does his best to compensate. ]

I never intended to take on a t'hy'la, it is a supplemental role that has previously held no particular fascination for me. I do not ... believe I was aware that I had already exerted my possessiveness over the Captain until a short time ago. Jim has proved his candidacy in ways that have spoken to me outside of logic, the parameters of which can only make sense when classified this way. It is a necessity.

[ He looks up to her from where his attention has wandered over her shoulder. ]

I never intended to keep this from you.

[ Uhura paces in front of him, considering this. ]

Even so, Kirk? And you asked him to talk to me about it? He didn't even know what it meant, Spock, let alone what it would mean to me! It may have been a necessity for you, but you weren't the only one involved!

I incorrectly assumed his honesty would provide a more frank, simplified account of the relationship. I see now that I was wrong.

[ He remains stationary, watching her pace. ]

Edited 2013-07-07 05:09 am (UTC)

A more frank, simplified account of the relationship for who?

[ Honestly, she's lost as far as his motivations go. Or where she falls in all of this. She ends up standing, hopelessly, dropping her arms and just.. staring. ]

For your benefit.

[ Obviously, his expression says. He opens his mouth to add something, blinks and closes it, realizing he really did reason things out wrong.

Relationships are hard. ]

[ Welcome to being a human, Spock. It sucks, sometimes. Meanwhile, Nyota observes his expression and buries her face in her hands. ]

And how did that work out for you?

I did not anticipate that Jim would be so ... Jim, about it. [ Which is something of an apology. ] I thought, both being human, you could find common ground with his version of events.

He didn't give me a version of events. [ Wait. Are they on two different pages here? ] He only said that you'd broached the topic with him; I made the connections myself.

[ Pausing. Oh. The way he closes his eyes for a fraction longer than necessary speaks volumes about the exasperation demanding to be felt; he respects and cares for Jim, he does, but sometimes he wants to sit him down and spell the word logic out in several hundred languages until it sinks in.

Spock could lie by omission, he lets himself do that sometimes as a token nod toward his human heritage, but he doesn't want to do that here. Not with her. ]

How far entrenched in the topic were we, by his estimation?

[ But that doesn't mean he won't opt for minimal casualties on all sides. ]

[ Uhura sighs, running a hand through her hair. She's not even sure she wants to have this conversation anymore. Picking apart every bit of the wave she'd had with Kirk .. talking about it had been difficult enough.

But being patient was worth it, right? Figuring this out would be worth it. ]

He made it sound as if you mentioned it to him out of nowhere in passing. He tried to lie at first, saying he came across it in some 'text' he was reading.

[ You idiot, Jim. ]

When I saw the Captain he was in a state of extreme stress. I could not counteract this with words and as a result of our ... time, spent by the warp core's decontamination chamber, I felt it would be appropriate to circumvent speaking altogether. When I lay my fingers against his own he was wholly unprepared for it, though he gave his consent. The touch-telepathy allowed me not to access his mind, as such, but to convey concepts as they arose.

[ Emotions. Yet even in front of Nyota, he doesn't enjoy readily admitting he throws them around behind his Vulcan exterior. ]

I informed him that he was safe, there was every reason to trust me and that I would not leave him. I ... cannot. [ Spock looks at her and parts his lips for a moment before the words catch up. ] Even after I explained that a t'hy'la in no way usurps a mate or is deserving of their wrath, he was concerned for your well-being. I assured him your level of cultural understanding was exemplary, that you would understand the significance behind my selection of him and that it would not reflect on you poorly.

It does not, Nyota. I still ... feel for you. I did not stop.

[ this .. was a lot for her to process at once and she crossed the room and settled herself on the edge of her bed, looking up at him in .. somewhat disbelief. this was more than she'd been expecting to hear from him, much more than she'd been prepared for. ]

But you began feeling for him. And you didn't tell me.

[ she's not accusing him of anything, not yet. ]

How .. I don't understand. [ no, that's not correct. she looks at him helplessly. ] I understand intellectually, but emotionally? How can I understand this feeling?

[ Crossing the room, he sinks down to sit at her side. Weighs the options. ]

It would be easier — [ said not unkindly ] — if I were to show you through a mind-meld.

[ He hopes she'll consent, otherwise his words might fail him and he really doesn't want to inadvertently hurt her any more than she already is. Spock is distinctly lacking in the ability to convey emotion through words, asking this grace when it can only be direct. ]

[ Ordinarily, she wouldn't have hesitated, but .. given what she was just now hearing, she wasn't entirely sure. Still .. this was still Spock. ]

.. Go ahead. [ Uhura murmured, finally. She still trusted him, and if he honestly thought it would be better that way? She had to believe in that. ]

[ Gratitude threads through him clearly, a brush of the back of his knuckles grazing her cheek before his fingers settle lightly on her face and temple, his eyes closing. ]

My mind to your mind. [ Unlocking the barriers, it's a process he slips into with unerring ease for all that it's so invasive, sinking into Nyota's consciousness so that skin and bone and blood don't matter, only the intangible essence of intelligent beings. ] My thoughts to your thoughts.

[ The crunch of an apple shatters their way into Spock's immediate thoughts of Jim, seen from the first time during the Kobayashi Maru and marked fascinating by every fiber of his being. The vicious pride in tearing into the cheater at a hearing that should not have been there, he is Vulcan, suffused when sniping at each other and finally the satisfaction in beating him down. The shame and willingness to forgive, trust, the latter building block by block until there's only glass and hands that can't touch, the loss a monster in Spock's throat that can't vocalize how terrified he is of losing Jim. They can't even touch. Jim dies alone and Spock roars, part of himself torn away again, just like his mother, a howling cry morphing into something fierce and livid as he tries to murder Khan to sate his pain.

There's a room and in it Jim is defensive, closed off in a way that pains Spock to see; years spent alone in a nexus have eroded Jim's faith into something ugly and spiteful. Spock touches his hand and the concerncareloveprotectlovekeepholdlovefear is unbridled, shocking Jim to his core as Spock gathers him in so Jim can wilt against his strength. The scene focuses on Jim's anxieties.

'So, can you promise you'll keep Uhura from strangling me?'

Spock blinks at him in surprise, confident in where he is with Nyota not to worry that she'll think of this as cheating. It's a natural progression from friend to brother, and when Spock brushes a light kiss over startled lips he finds he can't let go of his fears that Jim won't feel the same bond, but he does and it's beautiful as they fall against one another, perfectly understanding what this is even when Jim butchers the Vulcan wording and Spock sighs at the unrepentant grin. The world tips on its axis and they are lying down together, curled up in arms and legs while fully-clothed, just to touch and caress in light kisses of lips and two-fingers that melt into each other and become indistinguishable; there's a shot of pain when Jim can't take it, a panic attack that cuts through Spock like a lashing whip. Sudden and ugly. Jim calms only when clutched tightly and Spock holds onto him, tell him he deserves this and more, that he is still my captain through the warm telepathic pathways lacing the two men together.

A small alien cheerfully interrupts the scene and Spock is furious that this insufficiently qualified little creature has been harming Jim with its inappropriate care, thinking itself a wonderful little monarch when deep down anger flares in Spock to keep it as far away from Jim as possible. That isn't care, not as Spock knows it; Jim is hurt and wounded and broken, and Spock snaps inasmuch as his Vulcan pride allows when he dresses down the creature as promptly as any Starfleet officer. Neglectful. They come to an impasse and Jim is angry with his treatment of the alien, his friend. Spock doesn't want to be just a friend if that is how Jim thinks it is acceptable for one to behave.

'Your logic is flawed,' he tells the small creature, cold and defensive.

He doesn't care when Jim rails against him. He wants to leave, to not ruin the tentative t'hy'la bond that aches in him to ensure Jim is protected at all times. Jim doesn't understand it, and Spock doesn't force the issue, but he very much wants to be anywhere else if Jim won't trust him to act in his best interests. Kisses resume, he pins Jim to a wall out of weak desperation to show him what those jumbled emotions mean and they only break apart once hard and aching and needy, the presence of his love for Nyota forcing Spock to call off the proceedings now he's aware they're becoming distinctly inappropriate.

Because he loves them both and it's new and frightening, wanting to ensure his mate knows she is his only and his friend-brother-needyouformyown-lover realizes that he isn't by any means second-best. This doesn't work like that, Nyota and Jim are on perfectly even footing and satisfy Spock's varied Vulcan wants and needs. I cannot be without you, either of you.

The mind-meld blazes white with raw emotion and breaks, leaving him panting slightly where he sits on the bed. ]

[ carefully going through sending private messages to the entire crew checking on them, no big deal. nothing is wrong at all. ]

lieutenant - i realize how odd this is going to sound, but

is everything all right with you?